The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
