After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
