What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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