Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
