the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
