I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize