Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
