Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
