Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
