I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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