Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
