Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
