All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
