Who did Billy Mays play for?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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