my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
