apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
