Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
