Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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