It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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