how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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