I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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