went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
