Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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