After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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