My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You've changed since you got that strap on
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
