I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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