Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
