She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
