i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
