I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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