why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
