Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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