You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
