Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
