Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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