I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.