Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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  (305): Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D: http://tfl.nu/t26u
  Replies (12) Good night (2443) Bad night (793)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;

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  (216): For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan; http://tfl.nu/zp6w
  Replies (82) Good night (820) Bad night (4330)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.

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  (414): My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday. http://tfl.nu/h79n
  Replies (10) Good night (4248) Bad night (1027)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed

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  (765): She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed http://tfl.nu/bbsg
  Replies (18) Good night (1819) Bad night (4067)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.

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  (403): I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life. http://tfl.nu/sa3f
  Replies (4) Good night (2612) Bad night (944)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.

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  (405): I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed. http://tfl.nu/abj9
  Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (4718)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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  (303): I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister http://tfl.nu/4y4g
  Replies (5) Good night (2114) Bad night (639)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

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  (256): I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies. http://tfl.nu/fekw
  Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (1163)
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  (661): View more from California

  What a dumb baby whore.

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  (661): What a dumb baby whore. http://tfl.nu/17ck
  Replies (4) Good night (1254) Bad night (790)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face

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  (603): Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face http://tfl.nu/t1ea
  Replies (19) Good night (1563) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Anderson Cooper just came out.

  (212): View more from New York

  Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.

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  (917): Anderson Cooper just came out. (212): Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor. http://tfl.nu/cxy2
  Replies (5) Good night (1568) Bad night (924)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?

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  (410): There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him? http://tfl.nu/lo67
  Replies (20) Good night (672) Bad night (994)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.

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  (402): Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains. http://tfl.nu/xruv
  Replies (8) Good night (1372) Bad night (462)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.

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  (914): He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast. http://tfl.nu/061g
  Replies (4) Good night (697) Bad night (387)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?

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  (248): Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid? http://tfl.nu/bnow
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (376)

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