But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.