Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00. http://tfl.nu/7rzt
  Replies (9) Good night (5193) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person http://tfl.nu/h7ls
  Replies (13) Good night (1101) Bad night (2471)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments. http://tfl.nu/bi4c
  Replies (11) Good night (4346) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation? http://tfl.nu/efhg
  Replies (37) Good night (2880) Bad night (2664)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.

  (512): View more from Texas

  There are margaritas in the freezer still.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life. (512): There are margaritas in the freezer still. http://tfl.nu/0xfi
  Replies (16) Good night (5529) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game. http://tfl.nu/pari
  Replies (22) Good night (2537) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER. http://tfl.nu/wjgj
  Replies (5) Good night (1648) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies. (1-507): We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA. http://tfl.nu/9erc
  Replies (21) Good night (2487) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness. http://tfl.nu/5j3m
  Replies (17) Good night (2741) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall. http://tfl.nu/67xg
  Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen. http://tfl.nu/gtzt
  Replies (3) Good night (1625) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  That's better than I've done so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today. (1-440): That's better than I've done so far. http://tfl.nu/4hrm
  Replies (0) Good night (1150) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom? http://tfl.nu/z0d3
  Replies (6) Good night (303) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you. http://tfl.nu/me5v
  Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?" http://tfl.nu/v4gz
  Replies (2) Good night (600) Bad night (293)

Randomize