I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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