either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
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oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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