New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
