we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
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well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I vomited out my contact lenses last night