Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?