So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night