she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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