are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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