it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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