I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
