we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
