u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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