party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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