Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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