So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
