How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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