i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
