So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize