Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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