peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize