Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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