I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
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Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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